Expat. It’s a modern word for what we’ve always been: nomads. Though honestly, I wish we’d just stuck with ‘nomad’—it has more depth, more movement to it. Nomads have existed for as long as humans have, moving in search of food, water, and shelter, settling for a time, then moving on.

Modern nomads aren’t so different. Each of us has our reasons for uprooting—pursuing a career, chasing love, seeking a better work-life balance, or simply wanting to live somewhere that aligns with who we are now. For me, it was the appeal of a slower, more deliberate way of living, where food and conversation matter as much as ambition.

Whatever your reason, one thing remains the same: we are always guests in our chosen country. No matter how fluent we become, how deeply we invest, or how long we stay, we will always be outsiders to some degree. And that’s not a bad thing.

Being a guest comes with a certain freedom. We can observe, participate, or step back when we choose. We aren’t weighed down by the same obligations as locals. The key is to embrace this role, to absorb the good, accept the frustrating, and move through the difficult parts with patience. Or as the French put it: Le bien ne fait pas de bruit, le bruit ne fait pas de bien. (Doing good makes no noise, and noise does no good.)

How I Found My Groove In Italy

The Unknown Feels Uncomfortable – It’s OK to Feel Like the Odd One Out

Moving to a new country unsettles your routine, but remember that locals may also feel unsure about you. I’ll never forget the first time I walked into my neighborhood café in Rome, fumbling my order, feeling completely out of place. A few visits later, the barista knew my usual, and the man who once eyed me with suspicion started offering a friendly nod. Small moments of recognition mean a lot.

Let Change Reshape You

It’s tempting to recreate your old life in a new place, but the best experiences come when you stop resisting differences. Learning to navigate an Italian post office without wanting to scream? That’s personal growth.

Learn the Language—No Matter How Badly

Even if every sentence is wrong, make the effort. Speak, respond, stumble, and keep going. The day you manage a full conversation with your greengrocer without switching to English will feel like an achievement worth celebrating.

Stop Comparing—Unless You’re Appreciating

Your old life and your new one aren’t meant to be measured against each other. The moment you start saying, “Back home, we do it this way,” you’re missing the point of being here.

Slow Down and Take It In

Make time to pause every day. Observe what’s different, notice what’s surprising, and let yourself be curious. Keep a journal if you can—what feels new today will become routine faster than you think.

Adapt Where It Counts

• Driving: Learn how locals handle the roads and adjust accordingly. Traffic laws are one thing—unwritten rules are another.
• Speaking: Reply in Italian, even when people switch to English.
• Eating & Drinking: Try what’s in season, learn why certain foods are eaten at certain times, and don’t ask for a cappuccino after breakfast.
• Shopping: Build relationships with local shopkeepers—they notice loyalty.
• Socialising: Get to know your neighbours. Accept invitations, even when you’re not sure what you’ve been invited to.

Reinvent Yourself—Or Just Let Yourself Evolve

You don’t have to be the same person you were before. Living in another country allows you to step outside of old habits and expectations. I used to hate early mornings—now I wake up before sunrise to get a coffee and watch the city come alive.

Don’t Take Indifference Personally

A brusque shopkeeper, a confusing bureaucratic process—none of it is about you. But when someone compliments your effort in speaking the language or appreciates that you’re trying to integrate, take that to heart.

Say Yes More Often

To day trips, to cultural events, to things that make no sense to you at first. That’s how I ended up helping with an olive harvest in Umbria, covered in mud, realising I had no talent for it whatsoever—but walking away with the best olive oil I’ve ever tasted.

Dress Well—It’s Expected

Italians take pride in how they present themselves, and well-made clothing is more accessible here than in many other places. Looking put-together is a sign of respect, not vanity.

Offer Help to Fellow Expats—But Avoid the Negative Ones

If someone is struggling, share what you’ve learned. But if they’re committed to complaining, let them be. Some people never stop talking about what they miss instead of appreciating where they are.

Not Everyone Is Meant to Live Abroad

Give it a fair shot, but if it’s not for you, there’s no shame in moving on. What doesn’t work for one person might be the perfect fit for another.

Get Used to Change

The moment you stop adjusting, you stop growing. And whether you mean to or not, this country will change you in ways you don’t expect.

Mark Your Progress

Take stock of how far you’ve come. When you navigate a complicated task in Italian without second-guessing yourself, acknowledge it. Small victories add up.

Stay Curious

Keep asking questions, keep exploring. Every unfamiliar street, every conversation with a stranger, every moment of confusion is part of the experience.

Go With What’s In Front of You

The Irish comedian Dylan Moran once joked about chasing after potential—constantly running toward something just out of reach, only to find yourself exhausted. We do that a lot, trying to control outcomes, jumping from one idea to the next.

The Chinese have a saying: Be as flexible as the tall grass in an open field. The more we resist, the harder things feel. The moment we let go, everything opens up. After years of trying to control my experience, I’ve started to approach life more like the people around me—moving with what comes instead of forcing a plan. It’s less effort, and somehow, everything works out.

If you’re going to live abroad, live fully. And if you’re already happy, stay that way—because what you’re experiencing now will shape you long after you’ve left.